I'm a worrier by nature. And a list maker and planner. So I spend much of my time thinking about future goals I want to achieve or dreading possible misfires. But today, while going on one of my regular walks around the city, I had a slight epiphany. Maybe it was the extra sunshine and the first taste of Spring, but right now, at this time in my life, things are actually pretty good. Everything may not be perfect, but I should really enjoy this fleeting time period. Things like:

1. Being a newlywed. After seven years together, even with all of the love in the world, it's easy to get used to your significant other and fall into a routine. Once Jesse and I got married, it was like we got to refresh that new relationship smell again. Not that much has actually changed, and it's hard to explain, but it's like there's a little currant of fresh energy running through our apartment again.

2. I'm getting to do what I love for a living. Sure, with the economy as it is, freelance work has been slower and I'll have scary dry periods of work, but it's not the same as getting pink-slipped. Having more employers just means more breaks between jobs and lighter work. I may not be making as much money, but Jesse and I are pros at living frugally. We've had more lean years than not and know how to make the best of it. It just makes me more determined to promote my work harder and try to gain more new clients. Also, I spent two years waiting tables and serving coffee while trying to build up enough steady work to illustrate full-time. Every day that I get to sit at my desk in my house and draw instead of wondering how much longer I'll have to serve coffee is the best day in the world.

3. We get to sleep in as late as we want to on weekends. I whine about our apartment's no-pet policy and my ticking biological clock, but it means we get to enjoy long, lazy morning of very sound sleep. No morning walks, no crying, no messes, no diapers. Just shuffling around the apartment in pajamas and slowly making breakfast.

4. We're both healthy and have health insurance. We had several years out of school with no health insurance at all (my worrying was at fever-pitch during that time), and then several more with expensive, limited private plans. Jesse took a full-time job this year that's far from perfect, but it gives us both excellent medical coverage. And he got promoted to his job right before the economy officially tanked. We even get dental and vision! This is such a huge deal for us. Our poor eye site and cavity-lined mouths had been neglected for almost five years.

5. We're still young. For some reason the idea that I'll be 27 this year has been hanging over my head like a black cloud (Jesse hit that dreaded age in December). It's the official welcome into my late 20's. There was so much more that I had wanted to achieve or thought that I would have achieved by now. I've started noticing laugh lines that don't go away when I stop smiling. But, really, we're both still young. I'm sure when I'm 70, I'll wish I could be 27 again. And even if I'm not the person that I thought I would be at this age, I'm okay with who I am. Plus, Jesse and I both look pretty young for our age. We could probably pass for early 20s when we dress down. And I still occasionally get carded when I go out, that has to count for something.

Sorry for such a "me-centric" post. Sometimes I just need to stop and write these things down to truly appreciate them instead of just speeding toward future goals. We can return back to our regular programming now.

Worry wort

Posted on

4.13.2009

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